Wendy Vaz

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74. Becoming Her Starts Before You Feel Ready | ft. Nicole Koke & Rae Fung

In this episode, I sat down in my living room with my friends, Nicole from Canada and Rae from Singapore, for an honest conversation about our shared journey as creators and entrepreneurs.

We talked about manifestation (in a practical, non-fluffy way), what it really takes to step into a version of yourself you haven’t fully become yet, and why so many of us are waiting for permission that was never ours to ask for in the first place.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not ready, not qualified, not enough yet to go after what you actually want — this one’s for you.

We got into:

  • why showing all of yourself online attracts better people than niching down ever will
  • what manifestation actually looks like when you strip away the aesthetics
  • Nicole’s journey from shy introvert to confident creator (and what actually shifted)
  • why your confidence matters more than your credentials
  • how to use your voice even when you’re scared
  • and why becoming her starts way before you feel ready

If you’ve been in a season of reinvention, trying to build confidence, use your voice more boldly, or step into your next-level self — I think this conversation will really resonate with you.

Listen to the full episode now:

“You can change your identity — you just really have to tap into that emotion and hold that vision.”

Timestamp:

  • 0:00:00 intro – meeting friends from the internet & authentic connections
  • 0:02:33 why putting yourself online attracts aligned people
  • 0:05:15 why authenticity matters more in the age of AI
  • 0:06:30 building genuine community through shared values
  • 0:07:20 manifestation, spirituality & attracting your people
  • 0:12:50 how to write/speak authentically and attract alignment
  • 0:14:45 balancing creativity, intuition & business strategy
  • 0:16:00 the artist trap: why beautiful content doesn’t always convert
  • 0:17:15 why failure is necessary for identity shifts
  • 0:18:11 how manifestation actually works beyond positive thinking
  • 0:18:36 visualizing your future identity clearly – Rae’s vision
  • 0:23:10 Nicole’s journey from shy introvert to confident creator
  • 0:25:10 it’s okay to pivot – Wendy’s change in vision
  • 0:28:41 small courageous steps build self-confidence
  • 0:33:58 anything worth creating has risks – the sacrifices along the way
  • 0:41:54 dealing with parent’s objection in an unconventional path
  • 0:48:13 fear and anxiety in the early stages of entrepreneurship
  • 0:51:55 your dreams are delusions if you’re not practical with money and strategy
  • 0:55:21 thoughts and beliefs that guided Nicole’s identity shifts
  • 0:58:52 our human’s tendency to focus on negative thoughts
  • 1:00:45 say yes first, figure it out later mindset
  • 1:03:14 main character energy and lucky girl syndrome
  • 1:04:04 an easy way to approach surrendering
  • 1:06:50 using your voice even when you’re scared
  • 1:10:35 final reflections & where to find Rae + Nicole

“Say yes and you’ll figure it out.”

🌼 Want to work with me? Apply for 1-on-1 Coaching here:

About Rae:

Rae has been shifting the energy of rooms since she was 15 — as an emcee, speaker, and coach. Her career proves that “too young, too short, too inexperienced” are just stereotypes that don’t have to limit you. Rae doesn’t just teach you how to speak, she guides purpose-driven leaders to align their inner and outer voice to create a presence that’s impossible to ignore.

About Nicole:

Nicole is a YouTuber, coach, and entrepreneur on a mission to help 9-5ers build a side hustle and dream life beyond their jobs. She integrates Buddhist philosophy and ancient health and wellness practices into her work and everyday life.

Detailed Summary:

Becoming the person you want to be doesn’t start when you feel ready. It starts when you make the decision — and then grow into it. In this episode of Small Girl Big Talk, Wendy is joined in person by Nicole from Canada and Rae from Singapore for an honest, warm, and deeply real conversation about identity, entrepreneurship, manifestation, and what it actually takes to step into the version of yourself you’ve been envisioning.

The Power of Putting Your Work Out There

The three met through the internet — connected by shared values before they ever met in person. That itself became the episode’s first lesson: when you put your philosophy, your beliefs, and your real self out into the world, you create the conditions for the right people to find you. It’s not about having everything figured out first. Nicole found Wendy through a podcast appearance, followed a gut feeling, slid into her DMs, and the rest followed. Rae and Nicole bonded over a book on regenerative farming. The point? You don’t need a polished, perfectly niched presence. You need a genuine one.

Authenticity Over Polish — Especially Now

With AI-generated content flooding every platform, audiences are craving realness more than ever. People aren’t just looking for information — they’re scanning for humanity. The imperfect pause, the typo left in the newsletter, the “um, wait” in the middle of a sentence — these aren’t flaws. They’re proof. The conversation touches on how showing multiple facets of yourself isn’t unprofessional anymore; it’s actually what builds trust. Gone are the days where staying in your lane and projecting one polished persona was enough. People want to see all of you.

The Honest Reality of Entrepreneurship and Visibility

This episode doesn’t sugarcoat it. There was almost a year of insomnia over finances. There were moments of serious doubt about whether the path was right. The conversation holds space for the fear that comes with building something — while also making clear that the fear doesn’t have to stop you. Entrepreneurship and content creation look beautiful from the outside, but the unglamorous middle is where the real work happens. And that middle — the discomfort, the uncertainty, the growth — is exactly where identity shifts are forged.

Manifestation as Identity Work

Rather than treating manifestation as wishful thinking, this episode frames it as active identity construction. The question isn’t “what do I want?” — it’s “who am I becoming?” Stepping into a new identity requires holding a vision, anchoring into the emotion of already being her, and then taking action from that place — even when doubt shows up. Doubt and fear are not signs to stop. They’re part of the process. You feel them, you acknowledge them, and you do the thing anyway.

You Don’t Need the Credentials to Own Your Voice

One of the most practical threads in the conversation is around voice and authority — especially for people navigating hierarchies, red tape, or the feeling that they’re “not qualified enough” yet. The world is shifting. The next generation isn’t handing respect to titles; they’re giving it to presence, groundedness, and genuine conviction. Research cited in the episode found that EQ — the ability to stay calm, lead under pressure, and show empathy — made up roughly two-thirds of what people valued in the leaders they respected most. Technical skill was only one-third.

And then there’s the perceived competence finding: studies show that people who present confidence are trusted and respected more than those who quietly hold the actual credentials. This isn’t about faking it. It’s about learning to own what you already know — and showing up accordingly.

Conclusion

You don’t have to wait until you feel ready, experienced, or fully formed to start becoming her. The identity shift begins the moment you decide it does. This episode is a reminder that the right people, opportunities, and connections find you when you show up authentically — even messily, even before you have it all together. Say yes. Figure it out. And trust that you’ll rise when the situation calls for it — because you always have.

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